Ma*Shuqa Mira Murjan

Orientale Belly Dance with Elegance of Style

 

Here is my story of ovarian cancer recovery.

Cancer Discovery and Recovery: Ma*Shuqa’s Journey and Advice for Returning to Dance

 

Ma*Shuqa Mira Murjan

Orientale Belly Dance with 

Elegance of Style

 

Here is my story of ovarian cancer recovery

Cancer Discovery and Recovery: Ma*Shuqa's Journey and Advice for Returning to Dance

 

My journey through illness and recovery began in January 2006 when I found a sizeable abdominal lump lying on the floor in the boat position during a yoga class. I noticed a small lump in my abdomen three weeks earlier but was occupied with my elderly father's fading and passage. Within weeks of a whirlwind of examinations and tests, my ovarian cancer was confirmed on Valentine's Day, and I faced the personal challenge of surviving, thriving, and returning to dance.

 

The emotional side effects of an injury or illness can be just as painful as the injury itself. It's okay to be sad, but it's best to realize that worrying and wallowing in self-pity is not a choice that will help you recover and return to dance. Here's how to deal with injury and illness.

 

Your first reaction to injury or illness will be "Why me?" followed by shock, denial, anger, and depression. An injured dancer who cannot dance will feel they have lost part of their identity. Suffering from illness or injury that prevents you from performing can cause mood swings, feelings of vulnerability (will I ever dance again?), jealousy, isolation, and a lack of confidence. If you have ever been sidelined by injury or illness that prevented you from performing, then you know just how difficult it can be to watch from the wings while your dance friends follow their passion and continue to enjoy performing. After an initial period of sadness when you may experience depression, pain, anguish, distress, and torment from your illness or injury, it's best to set a goal to survive and thrive, then take control and move on. It is a long process of working through the 5 Stages of Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: Anger, Fear, Denial, Bargaining, and Acceptance.

 

Take Control

 

You are on the road to recovery when you start taking control, examining your options, and planning your next steps and actions. Being ill or injured means you will undergo medical procedures and treatment and will experience pain and disability during the recovery journey. Begin taking control by preparing a list of questions for your medical team to find out as much as possible about your injury or illness and what to expect for rehab and a return to health. You'll become a more competent and more substantial dancer as you take in and internalize the advice and information you receive to create a personal recovery plan. Become your own advocate and knowledgeable patient.

 

Research the illness and look for case histories in addition to medical information. I recommend finding a health library and having a health librarian help you research your injury or illness. Today, via the internet you can access volumes of scientific research data, and relevant information tailored for patient education. Consider seeking advice from many different health professionals in addition to your medical oncology team. For a more comprehensive view, seek out alternative therapists: nutritionists, chiropractors, herbalists, acupuncturists, and dance/sports rehabilitation therapists for their different perspectives and expertise. They can provide information about prognosis, complementary treatment options, and rehabilitation.

 

Research has found that rehabilitation programs incorporating physical and psychological care can speed up recovery. Acknowledging the emotional side of injury helps you control your reactions to side effects from your illness, handle constructive rehab, and deal with any setbacks that might occur during the healing process. Remember, most injuries aren't obstacles that end your dancing. Professional dancers return from serious injuries, and most even anticipate injuries occurring as a part of their dance career.  A cancer diagnosis is similar, but different as you are navigating not only a physical and mental comeback, but also dealing with your mortality.

 

Relaxation and Convalescence

 

Make a personal plan for relaxation therapy. View all of those "feel good" movies with uplifting stories ("White Nights," "Lorenzo's Oil," "Forest Gump," "Take the Lead", "The Turning Point"). Take time each day to play relaxing music, such as beautiful Middle Eastern flute and violin music – and visualize yourself dancing. It helped during early rehab to avoid depression and imagine myself dancing while listening to the fantastic performance music I had found as I focused on returning to dance. Pamper yourself as your rehab, medical therapy, and healing allow – take time for aromatherapy, massages, hot baths, and yoga. Here are some other ways to cope.

 

Set Goals for Healing and Recovery

 

Setting and meeting goals increases your confidence, motivation, and self-esteem and puts you in control. Your goals may be anything from improving your flexibility—as long as stretching doesn't interfere with rehab—to spending more time with your family. You can even set learning goals for music and rhythm research to enhance your return to dance. Be pragmatic, focus on what needs to be done, create a realistic timeline, and detail goals to measure recovery progress. Use your recovery and rehab time to listen to your music library, find that perfect performance piece, and rehearse using visualization. I found exciting new performance music that kept my spirits up as I visualized performing while studying the music.

 

Three helpful programs for healing and recovery were: a yoga series tailored for a return to wellness after injury by Rodney Yee. Another was a five-DVD Building Better Balance Exercise program by Vanessa Kettle; and Belly Dance for Healing from Illness  by Nadirah, a cancer survivor. 

 

I set healing and rehab goals based on my research and from lengthy discussions with my cancer coach, Yosifah Rose, a performing dancer, dance instructor, Middle Eastern singer and musician, and breast cancer survivor. I set a goal to perform four weeks post-surgery at Rakkasah West 2006. My cancer coach's advice was, "Be sure you do the hardest workout of your life in the days before surgery – you'll need to preserve your muscle strength. On the plus side, you'll be heavily sedated following surgery. You won't feel sore muscles". This advice allowed me to "smile when I might not have smiled" immediately after surgery because, as promised, I didn't feel sore muscles due to the pain medication. The pre-op workout had given me a head start on the healing process. The pre-surgery body conditioning allowed me to surprise my medical team when I got up unassisted to shower and change and ready to leave the hospital earlier than expected.

 

To meet my goal to dance at Rakkasah West (dance festival) in 2006, my rehab goals consisted of regaining muscle control, balance, and stamina. On the first day home, I walked in my neighborhood using a walker but found a walker encouraged poor posture and a slow recovery process. So, I headed to the health club to walk on a treadmill, and within two days, I could walk at a three mph pace and without support just two weeks post-op. However, walking on a treadmill is not dancing.

 

The physical goal of developing stamina to return to dance was met by enrolling in the pre-Rakkasah weeklong workshops. Seven days before my scheduled performance, I could only stand and dance for 10 minutes, and afterward, my legs shook uncontrollably from the strain. Developing stamina was essential; each day, I engaged in more dance time, gradually ramping up the class time. By Friday of that week, I took four hours of class. I met my goal and performed at Rakkasah West Festival 2006 (see the March 2007 "A Gathering of the Stars" calendar photo). I danced with joy on the Rakkasah stage – glad to be alive and knowing it would be the last performance with my hair as chemotherapy was scheduled the following week.

 

At my first chemotherapy session the week following Rakkasah West, I showed my oncologist my Rakkasah performance on DVD. He was aghast as he watched me lift my leg in concert and said, "You're lifting your leg after abdominal surgery! I thought I told you it would be eight weeks before you could return to normal activity." I would not have met my goals without listening to my positive mantra to persevere through the pain.

 

Practice Positive Self-Talk

 

One effective way to curb negativity is to censor your negative thoughts consciously. Anytime a negative thought enters your mind about "what you are missing or what you could do before the health crisis," tell yourself, "If I can't dance because of this illness, I'll focus on being in control of getting well and return to dance more beautifully than ever." When you give yourself this "positive goal-oriented pep-talk," you'll take personal responsibility for recovery, which will be much more rewarding as you monitor your progress toward your goal.

 

Values clarification as a behavior change process says that we should verbalize our goals. "What you say, you claim and value, you will do." I've stayed positive by putting a positive slant on recovery and rehab while discussing ovarian cancer and sharing my experience and information about the difficult to detect symptoms of ovarian cancer. Early detection is the key to survival. The signs are easily missed. See www.ovarian.org for a list of symptoms.

 

I recommend seeking a support group related to your illness. It helps to listen to the recovery journey of others and compare notes with your journey. Nepogen and Neulasta drug providers have a email weekly blog containing chemotherapy reactions, physical health, and well-being stories shared by other patients taking these medications during chemotherapy. It was constructive to read these shared stories and personal experiences as they provided reassurance of pushing through pain and gave one hope as you read about the next steps and stages of treatment – and the physical and mental effects of chemotherapy.

 

Finding Hope is Vital to Recovery

 

Finding a way to remain hopeful about your future is vital to your healing recovery. Although I tried attending ovarian cancer support groups, the emotional breakdowns and the atmosphere of fear were not helpful. 

 

Hope came to me in the form of the surgical nurse at my husband's prostate cancer surgery, who reached out to me. She shared that she worked with the OB-gyn oncology surgeon who operated on me and who also operated on her ovarian cancer. Most importantly, she was at that time a 15-year ovarian cancer survivor.

 

Hope comes from recording and realizing you are on a healing journey and there is progress. I encourage keeping a daily diary and recording your feelings, medications, vital statistics, and any side effects. Mark a calendar with your recovery and rehab goals. Your recovery dairy helps you and your medical team. It helps to gauge progress and healing by reviewing what you recorded just the week prior and realizing that healing is happening, side effects are subsiding, and you are recovering. Be sure to share your progress with your support community.

 

Stay Involved and Seek Support

 

When people ask, I recommend sharing your illness journey and rehabilitation goals as a values clarification positive behavior reinforcement practice. Seek others who have experienced your illness or injury and share their remedies and recommendations for diet, exercise, supplements, and rehabilitation. These shared conversations are well worth the effort in person, via telephone, or the Internet because you gain a wonderful sense of sisterhood and a caring community.

 

Don't be afraid to ask for help, advice, and support from family, friends, and teachers. Here are examples of how caring friends helped my healing and recovery. Caring friends will find great articles on the Internet about dance and recovery to add information to your illness database and recovery regimen. I appreciate that The Babylonian Ensemble dance troupe of Seattle, WA gave me a handcrafted stuffed animal, "Miss Moose Dancer," to keep me company during chemo. Even when bald through chemo, enjoying life with friends kept my spirits up. Initially, Fatima Al Wahid pulled me up to dance with her at the Rakkasah East party. Then, Pat Olson of the band Pangia, who donates his hair to Kids with Cancer, "shared" his hair with me at the Rakkasah East party (captured in a photo together) as we danced the night away. 

 

Keep in touch with your dance community both near and far. Don’t dwell on FOMO, Read reviews of shows and catch up on your viewing of the best performances and instructional videos. When you are feeling up to it, plan to attend dance events to enjoy others' performances without the additional personal stress of feeling nervous about performing. Focus on sharing your appreciation of your dance community's performance art. Attending performances, providing positive feedback, supporting performers, and promoting a caring community will be rewarding.

 

Value the Life-Changing Opportunity

 

While I wouldn't recommend that every dancer have a medical crisis to experience a caring community, staying positive and in control through your injury and illness can be a life-changing opportunity. Make plans during your recovery to become aware of the positive impacts of your disease on your life. In addition to surviving cancer, my cholesterol and insulin levels returned to normal healthy levels as a result of dietary, exercise, and lifestyle changes made during the journey.

 

Your journey through a health crisis and challenge can result in the "It's a Wonderful Life" feeling. Now, as I wake up each day and value every moment, I appreciate that I am a part of a very supportive and valuable community of family and friends. Make plans to celebrate your rehab and return to good health and dancing. Please plan to share what you learn during your journey to help others with their challenges and life journey. Many thanks to all of you in the dance community who have shared your experiences, stories, prayers, and beneficial advice – you have made all the difference in my life – which will hopefully have a ripple effect and touch the lives of others who face personal health challenges. Hopefully, I can help make a difference if this article assists one woman in saving her life with early diagnosis and treatment of ovarian cancer.

 

Three years post cancer: Ma*Shuqa BDUC 2009 Belly Dancer of the Universe Judges Show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEd6szgN2xU

 

Ma*Shuqa shares her health journey from the perspective of her first occupation as a health educator with a BA in Psychology, a BA in Social Service, and MPH master in public health, and education and work with her MBA, and EdD ABD. Today, after recovering from surgery and chemotherapy, she enjoys the world of wigs and fun new hairstyles and looks forward to many more years of dance. See her website for recommended reading for ovarian cancer, dance photos taken during her health challenge and recovery process, and her current calendar of events. www.MaShuqa.com  Ma*Shuqa welcomes dancers with ovarian cancer to contact her with questions and share your healing journey. MaShuqaDancer@gmail.com 

I resumed teaching belly dance four weeks post-surgery, danced throughout my chemotherapy, and am now a 17-year survivor and has been teaching belly dancing for 50 years.

 

As an ovarian cancer survivor, to encourage early diagnosis and treatment, Ma*Shuqa shares these crucial resources.

 

"Ovarian Cancer Resource Guide" from NOCC

National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) 1-888-Ovarian, www.ovarian.org

 

Risk Factors: Genetic predisposition to cancer, personal or family history of breast, ovarian, or colon cancers, Increasing age, Undesired infertility.

 

Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer: Pelvic or abdominal pain or discomfort; Vague but persistent gastrointestinal upsets such as gas, nausea, and indigestion; Frequency and urgency of urination in the absence of infection; Unexplained weight gain or weight loss; Pelvic and abdominal swelling, bloating, and feeling of fullness; Ongoing unusual fatigue; Unexplained changes in bowel habits.

 

Facts: All women are at risk. Symptoms exist and can be extremely vague, but they increase over time. Early detection increases the survival rate of early-stage disease.

 

A Pap Smear DOES NOT detect ovarian cancer. Palpation of the ovaries by an Ob-gyn is the assessment to confirm a tumor lump. The CT scan and MRI confirm the assessment and diagnosis by the OB-GYN. Post-surgical pathology evaluation of the tumor mass determines whether the tumor is ovarian cancer.

 

CA-125 blood test is not highly reliable and may give false negatives or false positives; however, it is the only test currently available.

 

In the early stages, the symptoms of ovarian cancer are often not acute or intense; there may be little or no pain, and they are not always silent; they whisper, so listen and monitor your health.

 

 

Cancer Dancer.org 

CancerDancer (www.cancer-dancer.org) 

 

CancerDancer celebrates the lives of those affected by ovarian cancer in an effort to educate, empower, and stimulate research leading to a cure. We do this by spreading awareness and information about the disease and by connecting our community through the universality of  movement. Currently, this URL is devoted to ECan = esophageal cancer. But the resources and information are helpful for those with ovarian cancer.

 

Recommended Books:

"100 Questions and Answers About Ovarian Cancer"

 

"Challenge Cancer and WIN!"

 

"Ovarian Cancer: Your Guide to Taking Control", a patient-centered guide written by an RN ovarian cancer patient

 

"Resources: A Guide for Women Living with Ovarian Cancer," from Bristol-Myers Squibb, www.bmsoncology.com

 

"Ovarian Cancer: Quality of Life Issues," from NOCC

 

As a survivor of ovarian cancer, to encourage early diagnosis and treatment, Ma*Shuqa shares these important resources.

 

Signs and Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer

Risk Factors: Genetic predisposition to cancer, personal or family history of breast, ovarian, or colon cancers, Increasing age, Undesired infertility. Prolonged stress and PTSD have been associated with ovarian cancer.

 

Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer: Pelvic or abdominal pain or discomfort; Vague but persistent gastrointestinal upsets such as gas, nausea, and indigestion; Frequency and/or urgency of urination in absence of an infection; Unexplained weight gain or weight loss; Pelvic and/or abdominal swelling, bloating, and/or feeling of fullness; Ongoing unusual fatigue; Unexplained changes in bowel habits.

 

Facts: All women are at risk. Symptoms do exist and can be extremely vague, yet increase over time. Ovarian cancer tumors grow very quickly – do not delay in seeking diagnosis. Early detection increases the survival rate of early-stage disease. A Pap Smear DOES NOT detect ovarian cancer.

 

CA-125 blood test is not a highly reliable test and may give false negatives or false positives; however, it is the only test currently available. Diagnosis is made by CT-scan and MRI.

 

In the early stages, the symptoms of ovarian cancer are often not acute or intense, they are not always silent; they whisper, so listen and monitor your health.

 

Ovarian Cancer Resources

 

CancerCarePoint.org providing free counseling, resources, support services, and education to Silicon Valley, CA. Some services available online.

 

"Ovarian Cancer: Your Guide to Taking Control", a patient-centered guide written by an RN ovarian cancer patient.

 

"Resources: A Guide for Women Living with Ovarian Cancer", from Bristol-Myers Squibb, www.bmsoncology.com

 

National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) 1-888-Ovarian, www.ovarian.org 

"Ovarian Cancer: Quality of Life Issues", from NOCC

"Ovarian Cancer Resource Guide" from, NOCC

Cancer Dancer.org 

CancerDancer (www.cancer-dancer.org) 

 

 CancerDancer celebrates the lives of those affected by ovarian cancer to educate, empower and stimulate research leading to a cure. We do this by spreading awareness and information about the disease and by connecting our community through the universality of movement. 

 

Recommended Books:

"100 Questions and Answers About Ovarian Cancer"

"Challenge Cancer and WIN!"